Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 11.07.16

Csonka’s WWE Raw Review 11.07.16

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Sin Cara & Rich Swann defeated Brian Kendrick & Noam Dar @ 6:58 via pin [**]
– Non-Title Match: Anderson and Gallows defeated The New Day @ 6:36 via pin [**]
– The Shining Stars defeated The Golden Truth @ 5:30 via pin [*]
– Bayley, Sasha Banks & Alicia Fox defected Dana Brooke, Charlotte & Nia Jax @ 11:45 via pin [**¼]
– For The Right to Face Dolph Ziggler at Survivor Series: Sami Zayn defeated Rusev @ 8:50 via pin [**½]
– Kevin Owens defeated Seth Rollins, Chris Jericho, Braun Strowman and Roman Reigns @ 14:40via pin [**¾]

– We get highlights from last week’s show.

– We’re LIVE via tape from Glasgow Scotland’s SSE Hydro Arena.

Team Raw Explodes: Stephanie McMahon kicks off the show. She discuses the big Raw vs. Smackdown Survivor Series matches, and confirms that Owens, Jericho, Reigns, Strowman and Rollins will be the men’s Survivor Series team. She played this up as war that was separating brothers, husbands and wives. Rollins and Owens argued as Rollins dropped sparkle crotch again. Stephanie hyped up the team by presenting team Smackdown (AJ Styles, Randy Orton, Dean Ambrose, Baron Corbin & Bray Wyatt) noting that they all need to be on Jericho’s list. Stephanie says they need to prove Daniel Bryan wrong and prove that they are the best of the best. Stephanie says they need to fight like their lives depend on it, and says that their careers depend on it. Owens and Jericho say that they have taken over Raw and “MAY have made some mistakes. Jericho said that Reigns and Rollins had to look past things, “Listen, you maybe stupid idiots, but your OUR Stupid idiots. They then informed the team that they would be the co-captains, that Rollins, Reigns and Strowman were good kids with potential. “This can’t be like the stupid shield, which died because you stupid idiots kept turning on each other.” Rollins attacked Jericho and we got the brawl. All five fought, and then Stephanie said that they will be a team at Survivor Series, but tonight all five will face off in a fatal five-way. Owens and Jericho were a ton of fun there; the dynamic they have created is great. I also appreciated that they locked in the team for the PPV and that they weren’t instant buddies, they have no reason to get along, so let them get it out of their system before they need to get on the same page. I get that, but also feel that having you “A team” beat the shit out of each other is a poor choice if you are so obsessed with winning as Stephanie is. But they can do a lot of teases of Reigns/Rollins and Jericho/Owens as well.

– We get highlights of Perkins trying to break his neck last week. Commentary noted Perkins was out with a sprained neck.

Sin Cara & Rich Swann vs. Brian Kendrick & Noam Dar: And this is another reason they saved Dar’s debut for here, he got a superstar reaction, way better than if he debuted in a random US city. Dar and Swann started off, solid back and forth and Cara then tagged in and cleared the ring. He hit the suicide dive to Kendrick, but as Dar took the ref, Kendrick cut off Cara and we took a commercial break. Post break, Kendrick grounded Cara, working the heat. Dar tagged in and continued the heat, hitting a suplex. He then worked a neck crank; Cara fought back with a roll up and then powered Dar up with a single arm powerbomb. Kendrick and Swann got the tags, Swann hit a double stomp but Kendrick fought back with a boot. Swann then hit a RANA and rolling thunder for a near fall, Dar sent to the floor, Cara hit a slingshot senton and then Swann rolled up Kendrick for the win. Sin Cara & Rich Swann defeated Brian Kendrick & Noam Dar @ 6:58 via pin [**] Once the entrance of Dar ended, the energy died here. The match was solid, but completely forgettable other than Swann scoring a second win over Kendrick. At least Dar got to shine in the post match, but setting him on the heel’s team was puzzling even with the post match. He also got almost no time to shine here.

– Kendrick then called Dar a loser and said he didn’t lose this match, and claimed Dar was a loser with no talent or heart. Kendrick said he was the best cruiserweight in the world. He claimed Dar was disrespectful and attacked Dar. Dar fired back and took out Kendrick with a running kick. Dar could have been presented much better to play off of that great reaction.

– We get a Lesnar vs. Goldberg video package.

– Stephanie was on the phone, saying she can’t appear on Smackdown tomorrow, but she invites Shane and Bryan to Raw next week. Sami Zayn arrived, and Stephanie says she finds his mere presence irritating. Apparently Foley gave him the shot at Ziggler’s IC Title at Survivor Series. Stephanie doesn’t care about what he has to say or think and says he will face Rusev tonight, and the winner gets Ziggler at Survivor Series and says who ever wins needs to bring the IC Title to Raw. As always, Stephanie does a great job of cutting down talent instead of making you care about them.

Tag Team Turmoil: Enzo Amore and Big Cass arrived. They said at Survivor Series, that they will prove that Team Smackdown is SAWFT. Anderson and Gallows, Cesaro and Sheamus and then the Golden Truth arrived. Enzo Amore and Big Cass, Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson, Golden Truth, Cesaro and Sheamus, and New Day look to be the Team Raw tag team squad for Survivor Series. Enzo did his chicken dance as they chanted for him; Anderson and Gallows and Cesaro and Sheamus did not approve. Sheamus praised Ireland, heeled it up and Cesaro says no one likes him. Sheamus tried to claim he was the captain because he said so. No one agreed to this, leading to Enzo and Cass making fun of him. Sheamus then made fun of Gallows for losing to Enzo last week. No one gets along here as they traded insults. Goldust tried to make peace, but got told to shut up. Sheamus said he wouldn’t go down with this Titanic and said he was bailing. New Day Arrived, sporting a Brave Heart Theme with bagpipes and unicorns on sticks. Woods had the bagpipes, claiming them to be Francesca’s Scottish cousin Agnes. Woods says they are hard to play and has a new respect for the Scottish. They are the team captains, and said that they see teams that will fight for the love and pride of team Raw. Anderson and Gallows refused and said they were out because with New Day as Captains, they will lose. Big E then channeled William Wallace to try and hype up the team. Kofi questioned his Scottish accent, but Woods told him to back off and let Big E go because he’s killing it. The crowd loved it. Enzo says he doesn’t’ know what they have been smoking in those bagpipes, but he like sit and says Smackdown will do down. Goldust told E he had a “Brave heart” and added that he and Truth were with him. Cesaro said he and Sheamus were also in. Sheamus said he was the captain of his team, and he accepts to stay on the team. Anderson and Gallows agreed to fight with them, but said that no one is in charge of them. At the first opportunity, they will stab everyone in the back. Gallows said that they will handle SD live easily, because they are like New Day, a joke. New Day says that they have repeatedly beaten Anderson and Gallows, so what does that make them? They face off here tonight. That was actually fun and played a lot better than most of the recent New Day segments, largely due to the crowd being so into it. Play to your audience.

New Day (Big E & Kofi) vs. Anderson and Gallows: JIP with Kofi and Anderson working back and forth. New Day then worked the corner stampede on Anderson, and then isolated him in the corner. Big E danced, but Anderson got away before the running splash could connect and then Gallows took down Big E with a boot on the apron. Anderson and Gallows then took the heat on Big E. The heat was fine, Anderson and Gallows worked quick tags and then Gallows landed a series of elbows and covered for 2. Big E eventually rolled out of the way, Kofi got the tag and ran wild with dropkicks and then hit the boom drop. Anderson ducks trouble in paradise but Kofi then scored with the high cross. Gallows in and cuts off midnight hour, spinebuster on Kofi and then Anderson and Gallows hit him with the magic killer and that was that. Anderson and Gallows defeated The New Day @ 6:36 via pin [**] Like the opener, it started fine but died as it went on. There was no energy or anything resembling fire down the stretch; it happened, the crowd died and then the champions lost and it never felt like big deal. Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson needed the win, but it didn’t come off well or feel like it mattered. When the champions lose, even in a non-title setting, there should be some buzz on the finish. After getting the crowd into things with the promo segment, this match lost them.

– We find out that R-Truth sold the Golden Truth’s spot on Team Raw to the Shining Stars for a time-share in Puerto Rico. Goldust is not happy about this.

– We get another Goldberg vs. Lesnar video.

– They will be on Raw next week.

– Jericho and Owens talked, Jericho was all fired up and wanted to confront Strowman about attacking them earlier. Owens wanted to try and use Strowman for their own use so that that they could be unstoppable. Jericho rushed in to confront Strowman, and Owens tried to play peacemaker. Strowman asked if he was going to be put on the list again, while Owens said that team “Kevin, Chris and Braun” sounds pretty good. Jericho wasn’t thrilled, and Strowman left and said, “I’m on team Braun”

– EMMALINA…

The makeover is premiering soon… @EmmaWWE #RAW #Emmalina pic.twitter.com/Hz9gihTS25

— WWE (@WWE) November 8, 2016

The Golden Truth vs. The Shining Stars : Golden Truth is fighting to get their spot back on team Raw that Truth traded for a timeshare. Truth in first for his team, but the Stars quickly took over, isolating Truth and keeping him in their corner. The action is bland and the crowd does not care, and I agree with them. The Stars worked a heatless heat, not even luke warm. They are in the ring, they are doing things, and it exists. I am begging someone to work with a sense of urgency tonight. The crowd is amusing themselves with random chants, I can’t blame them; Truth finally fought back and Goldust got the tag, Goldust was actually moving with some speed and trying to wake up the crowd. He did somewhat, hit a spinebuster and then got distracted by Epico with a pamphlet. Truth in, he didn’t help and Primo rolled up Goldust with the ropes for the win. The Shining Stars defeated The Golden Truth @ 5:30 via pin [*] That was a long, lifeless and a bad five and a half minutes.

– Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan will appear on Raw next week. BUT WILL THEY BE ALONE.

Ladies Night: Michael Cole is in the ring as they continue to run “Fantasy Warfare” into the ground. Cole then introduces the Raw women’s team; Charlotte, Nia Jax, Bayley, Alicia Fox and Sasha Banks. Charlotte claimed to be a born leader, and said if Becky or Nikki thought they could beat her, then they were drinking the Blue Kool-Aid. Charlotte did not seem thrilled when Jax came to the ring, showing some fear. Jax, much like Gallows and Anderson, claimed that no one will give her orders, because she does what she wants, when she wants. Fox said she’d work with Jax so that Raw could survive, using some horribly generic and scripted verbiage. Bayley promised to prove Charlotte wrong as the crowd sang for Bayley. Bayley said she was so excited to be on Survivor Series, Alicia Fox looked so happy for Bayley getting this huge reaction. Charlotte covered her ears as this went on. This crowd desperately wants to care about something, especially after the last match, and Bayley was it. Bayley then preached teamwork in order for them to survive and win. Charlotte tried to announce Dana Brooke as the final member of the team, but Cole said that she wasn’t the fifth and Sasha Banks arrived was the final member of the team. Charlotte was clearly gotten to as she resorted to yelling, which she tends to do when she gets flustered. This crowd has made Bayley feel more important than any of her previous booking on Raw. Charlotte mocked Banks for her HIAC loss and thought she’d be too injured to join the team. Charlotte said Dana was the alternate, and the crowd kept singing for Bayley. Charlotte tried to say that Sasha wasn’t the boss any more, but the crowd kept chanting over her. These segments always come off funny, WWE obviously wants one thing but the crowd rebelled and told them who they wanted and appreciated. This was an instant where Charlotte let it get to her, and the segment sort of fell apart, with them telling the same “we can’t get along” story. But Bayley and Banks felt like stars due to the love of the crowd.

Bayley, Sasha Banks & Alicia Fox vs. Dana Brooke, & Charlotte & Nia Jax : Bayley and Jax to begin, Jax used the power game and Fox tagged in, Jax kept control, Charlotte in and Fox hit the dropkick. Bayley and Banks in and they suplexed Charlotte, she tagged out to Dana and Banks took control. Dropkick by Banks followed and then one to Charlotte. The faces tried to triple dropkick Jax, but Jax no sold it. Dana and Sasha in now, the crowd is still singing for Bayley as Banks grounded Dana. Dana finally takes her to the heel corner, Banks tried to fight off Jax with leg kicks but Jax took her down with ease and we took a commercial break. Post break, the heels had the heat on Banks, working her over in their corner. Charlotte in and she works the back of Banks. It’s fine, the crowd is trying to rally Banks and she then sends Charlotte into Dana. Banks eventually made the tag to Bayley, she ran wild and hit a cross body on Charlotte. A neck breaker in the ropes and then the corner elbows followed. She then hit the elbow off the ropes to Charlotte, Dana made the save and then Jax arrived to clean house on the faces. She took out Fox, Charlotte then accidentally booted Jax as Banks avoided her. Bayley to belly on Charlotte and that was that. Bayley, Sasha Banks & Alicia Fox defected Dana Brooke, Charlotte & Nia Jax @ 11:45 via pin [**¼] This was a bit better than the other matches, Bayley winning made sense due to the crowd and to also get past the forced weak link deal they started last week. Still, the overall story has now been told three times tonight and it feels lazy. Everyone hates everyone, so lets fight; maybe some team building exercises are in order, someone call Dr. Shelby, that man works miracles..

– Seth Rollins says he was promised “future opportunities” for joining team Raw. Braun Strowman arrived, didn’t give any fucks, and promised to break Rollins in half because he never liked him.

Sami Zayn vs. Rusev: The winner gets to face Dolph Ziggler for the IC Title at Survivor Series. Rusev attacked at the bell, beating down Zayn and taking the early control as he just mauled him. Zayn started to make a comeback, and we took a commercial break. Post break, Rusev was working the heat, grounding Zayn. Rusev continued to work over Zayn in the corner, Zayn tried to fight back with chops but Rusev cut him off. Zayn managed to sent Rusev to the floor, hit a dive and then back in cored a near fall. Rusev blocked the blue thunder bomb, and then leveled Zayn with a kick for 2. Zayn then avoided a corner charge, but then ran into another kick and Rusev covered for 2. Rusev up top, Zayn knocks him to the mat with a kick and then covers for the win. Sami Zayn defeated Rusev @ 8:50 via pin [**½] This was an average at best match, which considering both guys involved, felt very disappointing. The finish was flat as hell, and also felt a bit too “slip on a banana peelish” for me.” You’re setting up a title contender, put the winner over strongly.

– Dear God, next week we’re getting a “state of the WWE Universe” speech or some shit. Also, Shane and Bryan will be there along with Goldberg and Lesnar.

Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins vs. Chris Jericho vs. Braun Strowman vs. Roman Reigns : Owens and Jericho attacked Rollins, and then they tried to recruit Braun again. They failed as he and Roman did the big stand off. They brawled and Strowman hit a clothesline and then went to the floor. Rollins beat on Strowman with a kendo stick. Rollins teased bringing out a table and we took a break. Post break, Rollins fought off Strowman, who tried to put him through a table. Strowman then took out Reigns and Jericho, Owens tried to make friends with Strowman and then attacked. Strowman took him out with a clothesline, leading to Reigns, Rollins, Owens and Jericho all attacking Strowman. Strowman did the ROAR spot and shoved them all away. The four attacked again and hit signature offence to send Strowman to the floor. Once he was gone, the four brawled with Rollins and Owens pairing off and Jericho working Reigns. Rollins and Reigns then had a stand off, playing off of last week. Strowman tried to return and Reigns sent him to the floor and then Rollins hit the suicide dive. Rollins and Reigns worked together to beat down Strowman, the table was still on the floor and Rollins called for the Shield Bomb. Jericho and Owens broke it up, they all brawled around the ringside area with Reigns hitting a superman punch to Strowman. Owens and Jericho took out Reigns, sending him to the barricade and then the steps. Owens hit the cannonball on the floor to Reigns. Rollins blocked the cannonball, and then powerbombed Jericho onto Strowman, who was laid on the table. Back in, Owns and Rollins went back and forth. Rollins up top, misses the high fly flow, but he fought back and pedigreed Owens as Jericho pulled out the ref. Rollins hit a suicide dive onto Jericho, back in and Jericho went for the walls but Rollins escaped. The finish saw Rollins hit the pedigree on Jericho; Reigns then hit the Superman punch on Owens, who fell on Jericho and won the match. Kevin Owens defeated Seth Rollins, Chris Jericho, Braun Strowman and Roman Reigns @ 14:40via pin [**¾] The match was better than most everything on the show, but not by a large degree so it’s not saying too much. I felt they did a great job establishing Strowman as a beast and I dug the finish, because you continue the teases of issues with Owens and Jericho (Jericho helped him once again but Owens comes out on top, while Jericho takes the fall), while also teasing that Reigns and Rollins may be back on the same page.

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

“Mama says these my magic shoes. Mama said they would take me anywhere…”