Csonka’s EVOLVE 81 iPPV Review 3.31.17

Csonka’s EVOLVE 81 iPPV Review 3.31.17

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Non-Title Match: Champion Zack Sabre Jr. defeated Michael Elgin @ 17:00 via pin [**½]
– Drew Galloway defeated Lio Rush @ 9:30 via pin [NR – streaming issue]
– Keith Lee defeated Donovan Dijak @ 12:06 via pin [****½]
– ACH defeated Timothy Thatcher @ 8:45 via pin [**]
– Tracy Williams, Chris Dickinson & Jaka defeated Jason Kincaid, Sammy Guevara & Austin Theory @ 17:20 via pin [***]
– Fred Yehi defeated Matt Riddle @ 17:30 via ref stoppage [****]
– Anything Goes Match: Darby Allin defeated Ethan Page @ 20:15 via pin [****¼]

EVOLVE Champion Zack Sabre Jr. vs. Michael Elgin: They started off, working the size vs. speed battle; ZSJ targeted the arm early but Elgin cut him off with an apron bomb. Large Michael then worked the back, taking ZSJ back to the ring. Elgin had control until ZSJ avoided the slingshot splash. Elgin quickly cut off the comeback and rag dolled ZSJ with German & Tiger suplexes for a near fall. Elgin controlled with strikes, they battled up top and ZSJ raked the eyes and worked strikes to fight off Elgin. Uppercuts follow, but Elgin battles back with lariats; ZSJ hit the DDT and they did a double down. ZSJ went back to the uppercuts and kicks, hit the PK and that got 2. Elgin fired up and fought off the kicks, delivering strikes and then going back to the back, hitting the falcon arrow (HE DID THE DEAL) for 2. Elgin slowed the pace, looked for a crab and locked it in. ZSJ is bleeding from the eye (he got busted open on the PROGRESS show earlier today). ZSJ tries to fight back as Elgin lays in forearm smashes. They trade to a mild crowd reaction, Elgin the hit the lariat. ZSJ tried to fire up but Elgin hit splash mountain for a near fall. Elgin then takes ZSJ up top, but ZSJ locks in the triangle only to eat a big sit out powerbomb off the ropes. Back on the mat, ZSJ kicks out and locks in the triangle again. Elgin tries to power out, but ZSJ transitions into an omoplata; Elgin gets the ropes. They battle to the apron, trading kicks and allowing Elgin to hit the apron DVD. Elgin then hit a falcon arrow (HE DID THE DEAL AGAIN) pulling ZSJ in from the apron to the ring. ZSJ fights for his life to stay out of the buckle bomb, counters out and rolls into a variation on the prawn hold to pick up the win. Champion Zack Sabre Jr. defeated Michael Elgin @ 17:00 via pin [**½] This didn’t come off very well, the crowd was not interested at all and; it felt very average and very disappointing considering who was involved. Outside of some “oooohs and aaahs” this crowd wad apathetic towards both men. Technically this was sound and clean, but there was no drama, no sizzle or anything to make you really care.

Powerbomb from @MichaelElgin25! #EVOLVE81 https://t.co/HrImfipKI3 pic.twitter.com/3HrYFfvdtO

— LARIATOOOO!!! (@MrLARIATO) March 31, 2017

– Lio Rush arrives and introduces himself, and discusses their match at EVOLVE 83; he wants that to be a title match. Sabre tells him to slow his role because he has a title defense tomorrow night, but says he will give Rush a title shot. Drew Galloway came out and called bullshit on this, claims he paved the way for Zack and then said title shots aren’t simply asked for or given out; Galloway built all of this shit and says they need to stop being like him. Zack calls Galloway a dick head and tells Rush to smash him.

Drew Galloway vs. Lio Rush: Rush used his speed early, sending Galloway to the floor and then followed for the floor brawl. Rush hit a dive, but this only pissed off Galloway who started to toss him around as they worked back into the ring. They are playing the size dynamic well here, and then the stream died…. Awesome. Galloway won.

Swinging futureshock DDT from @GallowaySpeaks!! #EVOLVE81 https://t.co/HrImfipKI3 pic.twitter.com/M1kKZeNpoP

— LARIATOOOO!!! (@MrLARIATO) March 31, 2017

– WWNlive had issues in the past, and then again today for PROGRESS; now FloSlam is shitting the bed on the biggest weekend of the year.

Keith Lee vs. Donovan Dijak: This is a battle of two big dudes who are also very agile; they worked a fun and athletic opening stretch, Lee countered a monkey flip, landing on his feet. Dijak did not know what to make of this, and Lee told him to bask in his glory; Lee hit the dropkick and sent Dijak to the floor. Lee then hit a corkscrew plancha, they brawled to the apron and Dijak hit the big chokeslam onto the apron to take control back. Dijak took a lot of time to celebrate, but then hit a corkscrew moonsault to wipe out lee on the floor. Back in and Dijak hit a springboard elbow drop for 2. Lee then caught a high cross, rolled through and looked for the powerbomb but Dijak back flipped out of that only to be killed by the POUNCE! Lee went high risk, missing the moonsault and leading to Dijak hitting the destroyer for a near fall. Lee fought off feast your eyes, but then hit a huge high angle spinebuster and then headed to the ropes again; but Dijak kipped up and hit a superkick and then snatched him off the ropes, and hit feast your eyes for the great near fall. Dijak looks for a senton to the floor, but Lee (after a big of a struggle, Dijak is a big boy) catches him and hits the apron bomb! Back in and Lee hits the moonsault but Dijak somehow survives! This is some real shit right here. Dijak flips out of the chokeslam and then Lee does the same, hits the spirit bomb and picks up the win. Keith Lee defeated Donovan Dijak @ 12:06 via pin [****½] This was absolutely fucking great, with big hoss daddies doing flippy boy things and also trying to kill each other. I loved this, I need to see more of this and feel that it was a must see match with a tremendous sense of urgency and great pacing; it never slowed in a bad way and felt like a big time match.

HOLY SHIT!!! @RealKeithLee #EVOLVE81 https://t.co/8uH8FC20g1 pic.twitter.com/LecvgFNm7l

— ??Jocay ? (@Jocay19) March 31, 2017

– Stokely Hathaway cut a promo about his success with the Dream Team, and said he wanted Kyle O’Reilly to join the Dream Team.

Timothy Thatcher w/Stokely Hathaway vs. ACH: Thatcher tried to slow things down right away as to not allow ACH to use his speed advantage. ACH then grappled a bit with him working the arm and then blocking Thatcher’s strikes. Thatcher then started to slowly take control working his ground game and simply out grappling ACH. The work is fine but we’re getting golf clap enthusiasm here. ACH started to make a comeback, hitting neck breakers and then following with kicks; Memphis fist drops followed and then some kicks. Thatcher cut him off with the belly to belly suplex, and again grounded him with a chinlock. ACH tried to fight off the sleeper, and sent Thatcher to the floor and followed with the springboard dropkick. ACH hit the PK from the apron, back in and ACH hit a DVD onto the knee for a near fall. ACH fights off the sleeper again, but Thatcher hits the butterfly suplex for 2. ACH escapes the sleeper again, hits the brain buster and picks up the win. ACH defeated Timothy Thatcher @ 8:45 via pin [**] I loved ACH getting the rebound victory here instead of playing things safe by giving the former champion a long winning streak to keep his credibility. The work was largely good, but the good aggression Thatcher had on the previous show was not here; they worked a very Timothy Thatcher match here, the crowd did not give a shit and they kept working that match and refused to change course; which is where this really failed.

– Post match Hathaway tried to console him, but Thatcher said of he’s not in the WWNlive title match, Hathaway can find himself a new client.

Tracy Williams, Chris Dickinson & Jaka vs. Jason Kincaid, Sammy Guevara & Austin Theory: We’ll see if Catch Point can play nice long enough to get through this match, or if Dickinson & Jaka finally snap and kick Williams’ ass. Nice opening stretch to begin, with Dickinson & Jaka carrying the load for Catch Point and cutting off Kincaid . Williams tagged in and Catch Point were working well together with no issues. The fliers picked up the pace, took the heat on Williams and as they went for dives, Catch Point cut them off with suplexes. Dickinson then killed Kincaid with a Razor’s edge on the apron. That led to a near fall, and Catch Point working the heat. Dickinson hit a falcon arrow (HE DID THE DEAL) for a near fall. HE DID THE DEAL AGAIN for another near fall. Williams in, hit the doctor bomb and that got a near fall. Long heat by Catch Point here, the beat down is good but the crowd is rather pathetic. Kincaid countered the super Razor’s edge into a RANA and finally got the tag. He tags both partners in, they double team Williams with some fun stuff until Jaka made the save. Guevara and Theory have brought some much needed life to this match with enthusiasm and fun offense. Williams hit the DDT to the buckle and worked the side choke, but Kincaid stopped that. It breaks down, Guevara with a shooting star press to the floor and THERE WERE THREE GUYS THERE AND NO ONE CAUGHT HIM. Kincaid hit Dickinson with a blockbuster to the floor that wiped out the pile. Team Kincaid hit coast to coast dropkicks at the same time. It broke down, Dickinson saves Williams but Theory hits a running shooting star press on him for 2. It goes back to Williams vs. Kincaid; Williams hits a brainbuster for a near fall. They battle up top, Kincaid sends Williams to the mat as Guevara heads up top and hits a double stomp, shooting star press from Guevara and Kincaid locks in the compassionate release. Williams only survives because Dickson and Jaka hit the doomsday chokeslam on Guevara for the win. Tracy Williams, Chris Dickinson & Jaka defeated Jason Kincaid, Sammy Guevara & Austin Theory @ 17:20 via pin [***] Despite the fact that I feel that this was too long (especially considering the condition of the crowd) I felt that this was a good match. Sammy Guevara & Austin Theory once again delivered and I’d love to see them as a regular tag team. EVOLVE needs more regular teams and they are very different than most of the roster, creating some fun and fresh match ups. Dickinson & Jaka also continue to prove that they were worthwhile pick ups, and the finish was great to set up the tag title match that they have been teasing for some time.

HOW NOT TO HIT A SHOOTING STAR PRESS #EVOLVE81 pic.twitter.com/oYoLSeUgGL

— Toffile L (@Toffile) March 31, 2017

– Dickinson again asked for a tag title shot, Williams told them to focus on tomorrow; Yehi says they deserve title shots and agrees to a title match, Williams was not thrilled. Larry FUCKING Dallas comes out to do the same thing he does every show, and stir the pot. They need to drop this Dallas thing, it does nothing for me and the crowd always shits on it. He claims that Catch Pint will collide for the tag titles on April 22nd in Queens, NY.

Fred Yehi vs. Matt Riddle: They worked a well done grapple heavy opening stretch, this was really fun because Riddle is so smooth at this while Yehi comes off as raw and desperate to survive, more real in a way. Yehi took things to the ground, working the knee and stomping away at Riddle. Yehi is so great as he used his odd style as an advantage, no one works quite like him and he is able to work with anyone, which is what makes him such a fun performer. Riddle slowly started to fight back, hit an overhead throw and then kicks but Yehi hit stomps to the bare feet and followed with the shotgun dropkick. Yehi worked the stump puller, and then went back to the attack on the legs. Yehi the hit a German, but Riddle popped right back up, hitting the knee strike and fisherman’s buster for the near fall. Riddle followed with the XPLODER and senton for 2.They traded strikes, Riddle hit knee strikes and a gut wrench suplex, rolled into a second and then into a powerbomb. Another senton followed, but Yehi kicked out at 2. They traded strikes, but Yehi went back o working the leg to cut Riddle off. After a series of counters, Riddle hit bro to sleep into a German for 2. Yehi fired up with rapid fire kicks to Riddle, ran wild with strikes, a rolling elbow and powerbomb for 2 before transitioning into ground and pound and stomps. Yehi then starts to rag doll Riddle with German suplexes. Yehi went for a tombstone, but Riddle countered out and hit the tombstone for 2 as Yehi kicked out, Riddle then hit a jumping tombstone for the near fall, transitioned into the bromission but Yehi countered into he koji clutch. They’ve done a good job of getting the crowd into this, Riddle fades and the ref stops the match. Fred Yehi defeated Matt Riddle @ 17:30 via ref stoppage [****] Riddle drops another, leading me to again think he’s winning the WWN Live title and will then have Yehi and Galloway as his first challengers. This was a hell of a match, Riddle loses nothing in defeat while Yehi gains a ton with the clean win. The finish also worked because commentary (Lenny Leonard) brought up that Riddle was hurt last night by Galloway piledriving him through the table. Both guys brought a great sense of urgency/desire to win to the match.

Anything Goes: Darby Allin vs. Ethan Page: Allin’s orderlies are wearing Ethan Page masks; Allin has Page’s name written all over him. The bell sounds, Allin runs wild and takes out the keepers, but Page cuts him off with chair shots. Page tries to assassinate Allin by tossing him from the ring into the first five rows of chairs. Page continues his adult by throwing Allin like a fucking javelin into the wall. Allin is busted open, so Page hits him in the face with a ladder. Page wraps a chair around Allin’s head and posts him to maintain control. Page slams the ladder onto Allin, who is a bloody mess. Allin keeps fighting back, showing great resiliency here. Page cuts him off and hits the iconoclasm onto one of the ladders. Allin again fights back, hitting a RANA and then attacking Page with chair shots. Allin up top, Page hits him with a smash mouth chair toss and then grabs a table. Page works over Allin in the ropes with strikes, but misses the chair shot and it rebounds off the ropes so Page hit himself. Allin counters RKO EGO and puts Page through the chair and then through the table in the corner. Allin sets up the ladder, climbs and has to fight off the Keepers allowing Page to hit a low blow. Page climbs as well, AN PRESS SLAMS ALLIN OFF THE LADDER THROUGH TABLES ON THE FLOOR! MY GAWD THAT MAN HAS A FAMILY! Back in the ring and Page sets up chairs, climbs on them and looks for a package piledriver and hits it but Allin somehow survives. The crowd is trying to rally Allin as Page sets up another table, the Keepers are in as is Pricilla Kelly. She tries to seduce the Keepers, Austin Theory arrives to take out the Keepers and ten wipes them out with a dive to the floor. Nice to see Darby has friends. The Keepers brawl with Theory to the back, Allin gets a trash an and goes into the bleachers, puts on the trashcan and goes for the coffin drop and NO ONE CATCHES HIM. Fucks sake. Allin drags himself to the ring, waffles Page with the can repeatedly and puts Page through a table with a huge splash off of the ladder for the win. Darby Allin defeated Ethan Page @ 20:15 via pin [****¼] This was an absolutely insane spectacle of a match, with Darby Allin not only surviving but also finally picking up the big win over Page as payback to months of abuse. The big takeaway is that EVOLVE has taken the time to build up Allin as a sympathetic babyface that the face can rally behind, he was insane here and page was the perfect villain to his hero. This was a great way to close out the show, and played well off of the established feud, providing a satisfying payoff to the feud.

OH MY FUCKING GOD #EVOLVE81 https://t.co/3WgRw6WdxO @OfficialEGO pic.twitter.com/SIX89XWUlr

— Italo Santana (@BulletClubItal) March 31, 2017

– End scene.

– Thanks for reading.

“Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyye Felicia!”