Csonka’s CZW Welcome to the Combat Zone Review 4.01.16

Csonka’s CZW Welcome to the Combat Zone Review 4.01.16

OFFICIAL RESULTS
– Shane Strickland defeated AR Fox, Joey Janela, Desmond Xavier, Trevor Lee and Ricochet @ 7:45 via pin [***]
– Dirty Andy Dalton defeated Chris Marvel @ 3:05 via pin [*]
– Brittany Blake defeated Veda Scott @ 8:16 via submission [DUD]
– Joe Gacy defeated Tim Donst @ 7:51 via pin [*½]
– Dave Crist defeated David Star @ 15:02 via pin [**¼]
– WSU Title Match: Champion Cherry Bomb defeated Jessicka Havock @ 9:58 via pin [*]
– Sami Callihan defeated Bull James @ 9:40 via pin [**½]
– Tables Match: Chuck Taylor, Drew and Rory Gulak defeated Nation of Intoxication @ 10:10 [**½]
– No Rope Barbed-Wire CZW Title Match: Champion Matt Tremont defeated Masada @19:12 via pin [**]

– Emil Jay welcomes us to the show, and brings out CZW owner DJ Hyde. Hyde spoke about the death of Kris Travis, and they did a 10-bell salute for him. Hyde then went into promoter mode, but was interrupted by AR Fox and his crew (a woman with a dog and a dude dressed like John Cena). He is here for his open challenge, and Joey Janela answered it. Here’s here to put on a show, and told Fox that they were doing to steal the fucking show. BUT THEN Desmond Xavier and JT Davidson (manager) arrived. Davidson put his man over, and complained that his guy wasn’t on the show; he wants in the match. AND THEN Shane Strickland arrived. He wants in, I know, you’re surprised. BUT THEN Trevor Lee came out, and guess what, he wants in. Holy shit we’re not done, because RICOCHET IS HERE. Ricochet wants a title shot if he wins tonight. Hyde agrees and here we go!

AR Fox vs. Joey Janela vs. Desmond Xavier vs. Shane Strickland vs. Trevor Lee vs. Ricochet: So this was insane, starting with superkicks, guys to the floor, dives, a Sasuke special and Ricochet fighting the fake John Cena. Fake John Cena even hit a dive to the floor, leading to Fox hitting a 450, and Lee destroying him with a deadlift German. This is a wild mix of Lucha Underground, TNA and Indie guys and it is really fun. Xavier tried to get some run, but Fox and Ricochet beat him down as the others slowly got back into things. This was really fun, the action kept moving and everyone was getting their shit in, in a positive way. Strickland hit a Storm cradle driver variation on Janela and that was that. That was a fun and energetic way to kick off the show.

Chris Marvel vs. Dirty Andy Dalton: This is my first time seeing both guys. Dalton controlled early, went for a piledriver and then Marvel tried to turn the tide by working the arm. He failed, as Dalton kept control until Marvel hit a sloppy arm bar out of the corner. Dalton then hit an Omari driver and got the win. It wasn’t good.

Brittany Blake vs. Veda Scott: Scott demanded Blake shake hands and she then kicked her in the head. They went back and forth, Scott hit a German and then took control. They worked to the corner; Blake shoved Scott off and then hit a missile dropkick. They then brawled ringside, with Blake getting some control, whipping Scott to the barricade and apron. Scott no sold that and hit a suplex and then they fought into the entranceway. Blake hit a bulldog onto the steps, and rolled Scott back into the ring. All of this work on the floor meant nothing, as Scott right away got a triangle and Blake had to get the ropes. Blake went up top and “sort of” hit a double stomp to the back and got a near fall. They then looked to have issues as Scott went for something and Blake kept trying to counter. This is not good. Scott supposedly hit a shining wizard, but Blake got the ropes. When I say supposedly, she completely missed. They ran into each other at one point, and then Blake locked in a Tequila sunrise variation for the win. I care not for the multi-verse theory; on no Earth was that anywhere close to good.

Joe Gacy vs. Tim Donst: They attacked each other before the bell and grappled to the floor. They worked back into the ring and then again grappled and did holds, working to the floor. They did make it back in and switched to striking; Gacy to the floor and Donst hit a suicide dive. They went back in and out again with Gacy hitting a suicide dive. Commentary is doing a really solid job of giving us history, but this match is so oddly laid out. In, out, in, out, and then just trading moves; the commentary is telling a story but the match really isn’t. We’re hearing a story of betrayal, and we get grappling and wrestling moves and titty twisters (seriously) instead of a brawl with some heat attached. After six-minutes or so they worked back to the floor, again, and Donst took control, spinning a beer into Gacy’s face and suplexing him on the floor. Donst then absolutely spiked Donst on the apron with a piledriver, and then Gacy just no sells it and rolls up Donst for the win. Gacy was planted like a damn tree with that piledriver and then gets the roll up seconds later; it made NO SENSE like 90% of this match.

Dave Crist w/JT Davidson and minions (Scarlet Graves) vs. David Star: Commentary doing a good job of giving us some history here, noting their feud and the fact that they worked a 104-minute match in Ohio. They worked a good back and forth opening, Star was one step ahead of him and then as Crist was seated, Star walked in front of Crist and thrust his junk into his face. Star went to the floor, but Crist’s corner men distracted him and Crist hit a dive. His minions worked over Star on the floor for a bit, and then Crist took the heat. He kept control with the help of his friends and then they tried to do a low bridge spot and Star almost stopped and then got caught in the ropes. It wasn’t good at all; bless commentary for their work to cover it up. Star then fought back with forearms and chops, and then got a near fall off of a suplex. Star to the floor, more cheap shots from the minions, but Star fought back and sent them to the post. Davidson then distracted Star for a bit, but he overcame and then Star did three suicide dives onto Crist and then a plancha onto all of the guys on the floor. Star does a lot of silly things in between moves, Crist then looked to go for a springboard off the ropes and came up short and crashed to the mat. Not good. They fought to the corner; it felt really long at this point. On the ropes they brawled back and forth, another minion got involved and Crist hit a double stomp in the corner and then hit his run up the ropes cutter and that was good enough for the win. They had good ideas and some well done things, but the sloppiness, the feeling that it lasted way too long and the copious amounts of interference hurt the overall match. Crist’s finish looked great, and commentary did good work here.

WSU Women’s Championship Match: Champion Cherry Bomb vs. Jessicka Havock: Havock has dropped the largely black ensemble, adding a lot of purple, blue and green to the outfit and hair. Havock never lost the title, and was stripped of the title roughly two-years ago. She is finally getting her chance here. Havock controlled right away, slamming her around the ring and causing Cherry Bomb to try and leave. Havock stopped her, but got caught on the way back in and Cherry Bomb looked for the countout. Havock fought back, hit the sack of shit slam but then missed a leg drop. Cherry Bomb worked some chokes and such, but Havock fought back again and slammed her to the corner, again. Cherry Bomb countered the stretch muffler, laid in several kicks and yelled at her a lot. She then locked in a sleeper, because the pacing was obviously too quick. Havock stood up and slammed her to the corner, escaped butchery Bomb hit a series of running forearm strikes, and then ran into the bog boot. Stretch muffler by Havock, Cherry Bomb raked the eyes but Havock still fought back. Cherry Bomb grabbed a baseball bat, which Havock brought to the ring and that brought things to a halt as the ref got rid of it. Cherry Bomb hit Havock with the title, which got a near fall. Havock then countered a superkick and got the stretch muffler, pulled her back center and Cherry Bomb got a sloppy roll up out of that for the win. That was not good; Havok never came off as a serious monster and her work felt very slow tonight. Cherry Bomb’s offense felt ineffective the entire match, and they never really built to a point that got you excited about anything you could consider a near fall or false finish. it simply felt as if it existed.

Sami Callihan vs. Bull James: James took down Callihan right away, looked to go up top and then appeared to be afraid and climbed back down. He ended up back inside and to the second rope, and then missed the splash. That was all extremely awkward. Ok commentary; go home you’re drunk because this is not a dream match. They brawled to the floor; Callihan hit a suicide dive and then used a cable to choke out James. Walk and brawl time with Callihan’s shitty spit spot. Back in the ring James took control, grinding down Callihan with hoss spots like neck cranks, eye rakes and a big running cross body. Back to the floor, and Callihan slammed James on the entrance ramp. Back in the ring, they worked to the corner and up onto the ropes; Callihan dropped down and looked for a powerbomb but James fought it off so Callihan superkicked the knees and then hit a death valley driver for a near fall. Callihan repeatedly kicked James in the face, and James hit a sitout tree slam for a near fall. James went for a double stomp off of the second rope, Callihan rolled out of the way and James did the slowest lucha roll through ever, and Callihan then got a roll up for the win. Post match they shook hands and hogged, James then attacked and tried for a pedigree, but Callihan fought back and gave James a pedigree. This was solid, minus the WWE cosplay at the end.

Tables Match: Nation of Intoxication (Danny Havoc, Devon Moore, & Lucky 13) vs. Amazing Gulaks (Drew & Rory Gulak) & Chuck Taylor: The Nation of Intoxication attacked before the bell, and the mass brawl ensued. There was some action in the ring, but we had a ton of brawling on the floor for the first three minutes. Devon Moore got tossed off the top rope and through a table on the floor for the first elimination @ 3:40. The Gulaks worked over Lucky 13, did an amazing tumbling routine and yelled that they were amazing. They tried it again and Drew Gulak softly went through a table @ 6:35. Chuck Taylor then tosses Lucky 13 over the ropes and through a table on the floor with a hip toss @ 7:10, it was hilariously great. Danny Havoc is the only one left for his team. Havoc looked for a tiger driver off the apron, but sent himself and Rory Gulak through a table on the floor and we’re down to Havoc and Taylor. The ref was oddly helping Havoc set up tables, Drew Gulak appeared and shot a confetti canon on Havoc’s face and then did a two man powerbomb through the table for the win. That was solid and unspectacular, with a really lame finish.

No Rope Barbed-Wire CZW Title Match: Masada vs. Champion Matt Tremont: It’s always funny when you see matches like this, as they play the game early that they don’t want to go into the barbed wire. So that leaves us watching Tremont and Masada doing HOLDS. So at three minutes in, Tremont shoots Masada into the wire and he falls through it to the floor and through a bared wire board. Everyone sort of looked surprised, and Masada was limping around. He didn’t look happy, so he busted out his wacky sharpened chopsticks of doom and just started to stab at Tremont’s head and busted him open. He stabbed them into his head and he had like 50 of them sticking out of his head.

They had some issues with the barbed wire, as Tremont got stuck at one point, and Masada had to kick him out and to the floor. Tremont was bleeding badly, as they did chair shots and then Tremont set Masada in a chair and went for a “dive” but missed and ate guardrail. Masada then went Magnum TA on Tremont and stabbed him with chair parts. Tremont fought back and stabbed Masada with part of the chair, and both guys are bleeding now. They fought on the edge of the ring and fell through the barbed wire board, and then more brawling on the floor. They went back into the ring, and beat the hell out of each other very slowly. This led to Masada monkey flipping Tremont through another barbed wire board. The ref then nicely helped Masada set up a board on top of Tremont, and he hit a senton onto the board and onto Tremont. This got a near fall. Tremont then killed Masada with an emerald frosion off the apron and to the floor. Tremont then hit a running powerbomb to finish the match. I mean, after all of that, the finish felt anticlimactic. Well that was a no ropes barbed wire match. I have no issues with blood in wrestling, but this was not all that good. I can appreciate what they tried to do but it never clicked with me. The live crowd enjoyed it though.

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* End scene.

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