My Worst Matches in WrestleMania History (also in chronological order)

King Kong Bundy vs. S. D. Jones, WM I
This match was my least favorite of the first Mania, but it hurt me the
most to put it on this list because I always did like Super D. Let's face
it, though: this match was simply a vehicle to put Bundy over. Don't
believe the hype from Howard Finkel, because the match went a full 22
seconds, NOT 9 like the Fink said.

Randy Savage vs. George Steele, WM II
This match was signed based on the storyline of Steele, "The Animal,"
falling for the Beauty, Elizabeth. Savage allows Steele to be distracted
by Liz to get the pin.

Hillbilly Jim/Haiti Kid/Little Beaver vs.
King Kong Bundy/Lord Littlebrook/Little Tokyo, WM III
Just as his match at the first Mania was a showcase to put him over as a
badass, this match was a showcase to put Bundy over as comic relief. He
bodyslammed Little Beaver (a midget for those of you who haven't seen
it)for interfering in the match and was immediately disqualified. The
other three midgets in the match, including his two teammates, began
kicking Bundy in the shins before he left. Amazingly, no one thought to
punch him in the family jewels.

One Man Gang vs. Bam Bam Bigelow, WM IV
Bam Bam was an up-and-comer in the WWF, and this match, part of the
tournament for the WWF Title, was supposed to be just a brief obstacle on
his way to the finals. I picked Bigelow to win the whole shebang.
Instead, he was counted out after about four minutes of action, despite the
fact that Gang was punching him from inside the ring, preventing him from
entering. What kind of rules revision was this? A stupid one, that's what
kind.

Bushwhackers vs. Rougeau Brothers, WM V
This match was pretty bad, but it reached truly bad status during an
unintentionally funny moment. One of the Rougeaus, I believe Jacques,
scooped Luke up for a bodyslam, and Luke placed his hand on Jacques' lower
stomach for balance. His hand slipped, and he placed it back.
Unfortunately, he couldn't tell from his view that it looked as if he were
trying to, um, "pleasure" the future Mountie.

Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown, WM VI
Piper painted half his body black, straight down the middle. As Stan Lee
says, 'nuff said.

Jake Roberts vs. Rick Martel (Blindfold Match), WM VII
Both men had hoods over their faces, preventing them from seeing each
other. Most of the match was spent with both men stumbling around the
ring, feeling for the other. Next.

Virgil/Big Bossman/Jim Duggan/Sgt. Slaughter vs.
Repo Man/Mountie/Knobbs/Sags, WM VIII
The "highlight," if you can call it that, of this match was Ray Combs (then
host of Family Feud, now dead) and his introductions which included poll
results he claimed came from 100 people in the Hoosier Dome crowd. The
introduction lasted longer than the match.

Yokozuna vs. Hulk Hogan, WM IX
Hogan came back to the WWF with the promise of regaining the WWF Title. He
did it through this 40-second "match" after Yokozuna won the title from
Bret Hart. I don't care how Hogan got that black eye, but he deserved much
more.

Bam Bam Bigelow/Luna vs. Doink/Dink, WM X
One team was a man and his "main squeeze." The other was a pair of clowns,
one of them a midget. How could it NOT be the worst match of the card?

Lex Luger/Davey Boy Smith vs. Jacob Blu/Eli Blu, WM XI
This match was so bad, I remember nothing about it at all.

Ultimate Warrior vs. Hunter Hearst-Helmsley, WM XII
Warrior pulled a Hogan and refused to come back unless he was promised a
win. HHH was the good company man and tasted the canvas, even allowing
Warrior to kick out of the Pedigree. Truly a bad match.

Rocky Maivia vs. The Sultan, WM XIII
Rocky's Mania debut was not a good one, as people just wanted him to go
away. The most memorable part of this I-C Title defense was Rocky Johnson,
Rock's dad, coming to the ring to help his son against Sultan (Rikishi, for
those of you not around then), The Iron Shiek, and Bob Backlund, who did
little more than walk around with his chest puffed out, planning his run
for President.

15 Team Battle Royal, WM XIV
None of the matches at WM XIV were truly bad, but this was the least good
of the lot.

Undertaker vs. Big Bossman (Hell in the Cell), WM XV
One of the only two HITC clunkers (the other being the Kennel from Hell
match between Al Snow and -- surprize! -- the Bossman), Taker won the
match, then hung him from the top of the Cell (with the help of Edge,
Christian, and Gangrel). Bossman "died," then came back one week later.

Terri vs. The Kat, WM 2K
Simply an excuse for T&A, along with giving Val Venis something to do.

Send feedback to Ron Gamble